I have a number of things I need to get done this weekend, but I decided to spend a little time making jewelry this morning because I haven’t had much chance to do that work during the work week this week. I decided to start playing around with making necklaces, which is a new thing for me.
The next thing I knew, half the day was gone and I was completely unaware of time passing. Fortunately, I also had several completed necklaces to show for it, so it wasn’t at all a waste. But I’m still fascinated by the way time just seemed to disappear while I was working.
I recently needed to take a trip to my local craft supply store to get materials to complete a project. Just being around all of the supplies re-opened the door to all of those jewelry-making ideas that I’ve been trying so hard to squelch. Ever since that trip, I find myself mentally creating new bracelets of all kinds, all using different materials than I’ve ever used before.
I’m just dying to buy the materials and equipment I would need to try these ideas so I can experiment and see what works, what doesn’t, and what new possibilities might come from having the materials in hand. There are two big problems with this, though.
“I can’t go back to yesterday—because I was a different person then.” ~Lewis Carroll
Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. Obviously, I am no longer married to him (and haven’t been for twenty of the those twenty-five years), but I still notice the date every year just the same. Enough years have passed now that I no longer miss him or the relationship we had, but I do still feel on this day every year that tinge of sadness that comes from death of my childhood dream of having one lifelong love.
It’s funny now thinking back on that day so long ago, when I was still really as much a child as an adult. There are moments of that day that I still remember as clear as if they happened yesterday—the frantic scramble to find the missing bouquet at the last moment, the family tensions that threatened to erupt all day (we held two separate receptions on the same day to accommodate warring factions who not attend the same one), the new uncle-in-law that had been in Hell’s Angels and looked like a member of ZZ Top who pulled me aside to tell me the whole family was counting on me to have a boy because my new husband was the last one to carry their last name, the challenge of arranging family photos that included every possible combination of relatives who were willing to be in the same picture without offending anyone, the disaster that was my hair that day, the leaning wedding cake…and the fear.
Patience is not one of my strengths. I tend to want results, and I want them NOW. When I don’t see the growth I think should happen on the timetable I think it should happen on, I either push harder or become discouraged and give up. Neither approach generally turns out to be particularly helpful.
Unfortunately, life does not work on my timetable. Growth happens at its own rate, in its own time, in its own way. My job is just to be present and open and faithful to my practices (like yoga) that nurture growth.
“I have to realize that the only one who will rescue me is me!” ~Loretta LaRoche
Loretta’s blog post entitled “Too Busy for Words?” really made me stop and think. This sounds entirely too familiar; I hear myself speaking these words about being too busy so many times a day. Why do I spend so much time telling people how busy I am when what I truly long for is an un-busy, simple life? Continue reading
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life. It goes on.” –Robert Frost
How true. This doesn’t sound a bit profound, and yet it is in its own way. It’s so easy for me to get overburdened by troubles and stresses at times that I can lose sight of this simple fact. Life goes on. It won’t stay in this troubled space long. And that perspective is enough to give me the stamina I need to move through it.
It’s been one of those weeks. I’m just about too overwhelmed to even see straight. I am more tired than I have been in a very long time just from the effort of trying to keep all the pieces together. BUT … this is temporary. If I can just stick with it a bit longer, better times are coming.
Life goes on. Some days that’s more of a comfort than others.