“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” ~Albert Camus
I’ve run across this quote numerous times; the most recent was from a friend who posted it on Twitter with the hashtag #depression. It fits well with my experience of what depression is like.
The simple tasks and activities that most people take for granted as “normal” become tremendously hard work. Whether it’s meeting people for lunch or keeping the house clean or cooking dinner or running errands, these every day activities suddenly seem to take more energy than I have to give.
“The body locks our traumas inside and archives them for future discovery and, hopefully, healing. Each trauma needs to be unraveled and eased, the scars opened, massaged, and broken down. The body can become like a tree that’s root-bound and dying; the roots need to be very gently pulled apart, not just hacked off. That’s the healing role of Yoga. And that’s what began to happen for me.” ~Ana T. Forrest
This is the grace that yoga has brought into my life. It’s that gentle unraveling and easing of the traumas located in the body that first hooked me on yoga. It’s that gentle pulling apart of my roots that have become so bound and cramped that keeps me coming back to the mat. These past few intensive months in yoga training have helped accelerate some of that healing to ease the root-bound nature of this tree-woman so that life can blossom again.
“Care about people’s approval, and you will be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
Yesterday’s DailyOM posting was about other people’s agendas. It talked about the pressure we get from other people to live our lives in a way to line up with their agendas for our life. Sometimes their agendas are a reflection of their care for us, but sometimes they are a result of some need of their own. Often they are a mixture of both. The challenge is in finding a way to appreciate and consider their point of view while retaining the right to make our own choices for our own lives.
I tend to attract people into my life who have strong agendas for how I should live my life. I suspect that some of this is due to me repeating unresolved issues with my mother until I get this figured out; some of it is also likely a natural outcome of my co-dependent nature. Regardless of the cause, I find myself repeatedly in situations where I care deeply about having someone’s approval in some way which causes me to wind up a prisoner to their agenda for my life.
“The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.” ~ Dr. Robert Schuller
I talked yesterday about not really knowing what pleases me. Not knowing what truly makes me happy is obviously a rather large obstacle to my attempts to become clear on about my dreams, but it’s not the only obstacle.
My other challenge is my overly practical mindset. Continue reading
Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés posted a Facebook note yesterday about people who are caught in negative complexes. Although there were aspects of the negative complex she was describing that do not fit my current situation, I did clearly recognize her description of “being snagged and tied into a weir made of the sticks and sinew of past unpleasant or devastating or even only moderately upsetting experiences… and losing proportion and perspective around the edges, half-way, or entirely.” She goes on later to add that when we are caught in this kind of negative complex, “we often cannot stop talking or acting a certain way–which is often to our detriment in some significant way.” Continue reading