I dealt a bit better today with the current change that’s causing so much pain. Part of that was just being able to acknowledge here how much it hurts. (Part of it too was being stuck in meetings much of the day where I was insulated from it.) There is a huge power in acknowledgment, though. Even if I still have to keep it hidden in front of people, being able to have some outlet to acknowledge the pain is so helpful, so freeing. Continue reading
“When we decide to open our eyes and be fully awake, we realize that much of the suffering is a self-created illusion. If we can trick ourselves into being the victim of our own misery, then surely we can just as easily volunteer for self-determined joy.” ~Lisa Cypers Kamen
This quote caught my eye this morning in an entry that came in via an RSS feed. I am so guilty of doing this—tricking myself into being the victim of my own misery. I can find that one gnat in a barrel of honey and then focus on that gnat so intently that I completely miss the sweetness all around it. I see nothing but the one small flaw and manage to make myself miserable in the process thinking that joy is something that has to wait until life is perfect in every way. The problem with this way of thinking is that life is never perfect. There are always flaws. So I doom myself to a life trapped in self-imposed misery by choosing to see only the flaws and overlooking all of the joy.
“All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.” –Henry Miller
Although my life has been filled with abundance and many blessings lately, these blessings are also appearing in the form of massive change. In less than a year, everything about my life has been turned upside down. There is no part of my life that is untouched – even my physical appearance and my name are changing. There is nothing I once knew about myself that is unchanged. So even when the changes are good, it leaves me extraordinarily unsettled to have no firm ground upon which to stand while trying to cope with all this. I feel uprooted in every sense, and the stress of this is exhausting me.
“The world is full of abundance and opportunity, but far too many people come to the fountain of life with a sieve instead of a tank car, a teaspoon instead of a steam shovel. They expect little and as a result they get little.” -Ben Sweetland, Author
I’ve spent most of my life coming with a sieve, so convinced that I did not deserve any more that I expected little – and got little. I’ve been slowly learning from a new friend that maybe it’s not about deserving; maybe the universe just naturally is full of abundance, and it’s really just about opening myself to it. It’s not about earning it. It’s not about being good enough. It’s also not about competing with anyone else for limited resources. It’s just about being open to receiving. That’s all.
And in the short time I’ve been trying to pry my fingers open to make room for receiving, I’ve found that she’s right. The blessings that have appeared in my life since I’ve been doing this are astounding. And I’m finding my whole attitude shifting from one of lack to one of gratitude. It’s a much happier and healthier way to live life. I’d highly recommend it to anyone!