I’ve been quiet here for the last few weeks as I’ve pondered what comes next for me, but that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been busy.
In fact, I’ve decided that it’s time to take my work up a notch by owning my work, something I did not feel at liberty to do fully here. In order to do that, I am starting over with a new blog—one that I can claim publicly!
I’ve used the last few weeks to pick a theme, create a new blog/website, and get started on some content. It’s still pretty rough around the edges as I feel my way into this new beginning and find my voice in this new venture, but you can find me now at AKintsugiLife.com.
I hope you’ll join me there. You’ll find that I’m still writing about very similar themes, but I’ve cut back to 2-3 posts a week in order to free up time for other writing projects.
Thanks again to all of you who have followed me here and have joined me on this journey through the chrysalis. I think it’s time for me to begin emerging from this chrysalis to fly forward into what life has for me next. It’s both terrifying and exciting!
I’d love to have your company on this new beginning!
Today marks the three-year anniversary of the start of this blog. First and foremost, I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who read, like, and comment on my posts. I am blessed to have such awesome readers! You consistently inspire me to new growth.
I’ve gone through periods of faithful daily posting, periods of silence, and periods of sporadic posting, but somehow I’ve managed to write over 550 posts (on this blog) during that time. It’s fun to look back at those early posts and see how my writing has changed with time.
I grew up in the South, so I learned early that good Christian girls (and women) were expected to always be “nice.” This fundamental edict is ingrained in me at a very deep level, and I measure myself against it constantly.
When I go through challenging circumstances of any kind, my first inclination is to blame myself. I look for ways that I must have been at fault to cause the hardship. This is even more the case when the challenges are from difficult relationships.
In fact, the single biggest thing that gets me in trouble in relationships is that I am so tuned in to what I think other people are wanting, needing, thinking, feeling that I am unable to honor my own wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings. This leads me to ignore my intuition under the assumption that I must be the one that’s wrong when there’s a conflict between what my intuition is telling me and what someone else wants.
One of my (many) oddities is that I am rather clueless about most celebrities. Because I don’t have a TV, rarely go to movies, don’t pay attention to sports, and do not follow mainstream music, I am unaware of who most of these people are. And even if I’ve heard people mention the names, I am entirely unable to recognize most celebrities in photographs. So news about the trials, tribulations, or even deaths of these famous people generally leaves me rather unmoved because I don’t know who they are.
Authors tend to be a different story for me. I love to read, and books have often been my closest friends in that they have expanded my world, encouraged me in tough times, and helped me to grow. The authors that write these books that mean so much to me—most of whom I have never met in any way—feel like distant friends because they have shared so much of themselves with me in the writing of their books. When one of these authors dies, I feel the loss.
I’ve long believed that every choice is both a yes and a no. For everything that I say yes to, I am saying no to something else. Everything that I say no to is a yes to a different choice. It’s always a trade-off.
I tend to go against the cultural norm by saying no to a lot of things that other people say yes to, but in every case, it is because I am saying yes to something that is more valuable to me (even though it doesn’t fit the “norm”).
As part of my ongoing attempts to shift my mood and emotional state, I have been slowly doing a bit of rearranging at home. I’m trying to reduce clutter, brighten things up a bit, clean out stuff I no longer want/need, change things around to give a sense of newness.
It feels really good … to me, anyway. My cats are much less enthused about this process.
“Depression is something that makes you lose your sight.” ~Michael Schenker
Dark night. Black cloud. Thick fog. Darkness. Shadowlands. Blackness. Black sun.
All of these common ways of describing depressing describe conditions in which we can’t see very well. Our sight is dimmed in darkness, fog, and shadows. Familiar objects take on distorted appearances. Color is washed out. We can’t see where we’re going, and we can’t even see our current surroundings with any clarity. Everything appears gray and misshapen.
This post is the fourth (and last) in a series exploring living in curiosity vs. judgment. Part one was an introduction to this topic, part two explored what curiosity and judgment look like, and part three looked at ways to shift from judgment to curiosity.
Curiosity as a way of life
It’s one thing to see how valuable curiosity can be in the way we approach life, but how often are we genuinely curious about our lives and the patterns and themes that appear in our relationships and our choices? How often do we carry a non-judgmental spirit of curiosity into our daily interactions with other people? How often do we jump too quickly to judging ourselves or the people with whom we interact on a daily basis without engaging in curiosity?
This post is the third in a series exploring living in curiosity vs. judgment. Part one was an introduction to this topic, and part two explored what curiosity and judgment look like.
Shifting from judgment to curiosity
“Be curious, not judgmental.” ~Walt Whitman
For most of us, judgment comes naturally. We make judgments about ourselves, situations, and other people all the time—often without even being aware that we have done so. But this is was not always the case. If you spend any time with young children, you will have the opportunity to observe the spirit of curiosity in action. Small children are curious about everything. They are eager to learn about the world around them and are full of questions and open to exploring all kinds of new possibilities.
As we grow into adulthood, we learn to stop asking questions. We begin to assume that we know all there is to know—or at least enough to judge a situation or person. This means that the shift from innate curiosity to judgment is a learned behavior. It also means that we can learn to shift back in the other direction.