I’ve been considering a decision that I need to make over the last couple of days. This is a relatively small decision about the possibility of donating something for a silent auction for a fundraiser. The cause is one that I support, and I don’t mind the thought of donating something to help out.
The challenge is in choosing the right thing to donate. The friend who approached me about making a donation had one thing clearly in mind as a possible donation, but as I’ve sat with that idea, it feels pinched and closed to me, like a turtle shrinking back into its shell for protection. But I quickly thought of other things that I could donate that prompt an open, joyful response deep inside.
The greater gift of this experience is that it has helped me clarify that the path related to the first possible donation has come to a dead-end for me. Trying to continue along that path (even outside of the question of this donation) is to keep dragging my past along behind me. That path does not lead to my future, and this is why it feels so closed off when I think of using it as a donation that could also advertise my offerings to others.
The second donation possibility, however, feels like it is a part of my future. The idea of donating items belonging to this path that could attract more awareness of my work fills me excitement! I am proud of what I have to offer and would be delighted to have the chance to share my work with those who might take my items home with their winning bids and with those who might simply have the chance to see what I have to offer.
It’s ironic to me that such a minor decision about one thing could create such clarity about a much bigger situation that I have been struggling with, but I’m learning to trust that sense of open vs. closed in my inner being … even when it doesn’t make sense or meet the approval of others.
I’ve been feeling so overwhelmed lately by trying to figure out to juggle it all. It is such a relief to have reached some clarity about what to emphasize and what to leave behind in order to move into my future with the best possible focus on what’s right for me.
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a fragile and vulnerable place to be, so I am committed to keeping this a safe place for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight are not welcome here and will be deleted.