I’ve written several posts lately about my struggles with success (and the challenges it brings) and how it causes me to hide my light and to hide myself in general. Ironically, part of this pattern involves quitting something either when I feel like I am about to be successful or when I feel too threatened by someone else’s success (thereby convincing myself that I am a failure).
These sound very much like opposites, but they are (ironically) part of the same pattern for me. Both involve wanting to avoid any sense of being in competition with other people because competition always means someone loses and someone will wind up feeling bad. It might be me. Or it might be the other person, in which case I feel guilty for having caused them to feel bad. I can’t win!
This topic just keeps coming up for me over and over again in recent weeks, so it’s something that I’ve been paying a lot of attention to. Today, I came across a really wonderful post by Beth Beulow on The Introvert Entrepreneur today called When You Come to a Fork in the Road, Take It that has given me a great deal to think about on this topic. Although her post really focuses on that desire to give up when we are feeling threatened by someone else’s success, her thoughts apply equally well to the flip side of my own pattern when I feel threatened by my own success.
Instead of trying to summarize her post, I am just going to urge you all to take a minute and read it, especially if you have ever experienced this kind of issue in your own life (and I suspect most of us have at one time or another). It’s a beautiful story of her bringing awareness to her own pattern around this, being open to exploring the feelings that came with the pattern, and finding new ways to deal with them. I highly recommend it! It’s a great resource to add to my current ponderings.
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