“There are many people who are sincere without being simple: they are ever afraid of being seen for what they are not; they are always musing over their words and thoughts and thinking about what they have done, in fear of having done or said too much. These people are sincere, but they are not simple: they are not at ease with others, and other people are not at ease with them. There is nothing easy about them, nothing free, spontaneous, or natural. People who are imperfect, less regular, less masters of themselves, are more lovable.” ~Francois Fenelon
It is late tonight, and I don’t have the energy for a long post, so I will share this quote that I found a few months back that has made a profound impression on me. I have lived my life as one of these sincere but not simple people that he describes.
The last few years have broken me down enough to recognize this about myself, and this has given me cause to want to change the way I interact with the world around me. I am still often “sincere but not simple” and am often still not at ease, but I’m gradually becoming less so. The more I spend my energy and time doing things that I love and that engage me, the less time and energy I have to spend on worrying about what others think of me.
I still have room to grow, but I am continually amazed at how much headway I am making. I had a long talk with an old friend tonight who is the person who has known me well for the longest (not counting family members). Our conversation brought back memories of the person I was back when we first met 14 years ago compared to the person that I am becoming now. I am pleased to notice changes for the better over time—and pleased that my friend sees positive changes in me too.
I’m growing, and it’s noticeable. I can’t ask for any more than that!
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a fragile and vulnerable place to be, so I am committed to keeping this a safe place for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight are not welcome here and will be deleted.