“What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.” ~Carl Rogers
I saw this quote today on Twitter and it really struck me. There was the obvious reaction to it that comes from having lived so long in the closet about my sexuality, but there are so many other ways I tend to hide parts of who I am out of fear that who I am is not good enough.
What if the only thing that is making those parts of me “not good enough” is the fact that I am not openly being those parts of me? What if it only the hiding that is the problem?
The biggest chord this struck for me came from the fact that just before reading this, I had been reading about the fact that passive-aggressiveness comes from acting out our feelings when we aren’t willing to speak them honestly. I know I am frequently guilty of this. I believe that I “shouldn’t” feel a given way, so I won’t admit to feeling that (sometimes even to myself), but it still comes out in my actions. I hate that I do this, but I’ve never known how to completely break my pattern of passive-aggression. Maybe this is the key.
What if whatever it is that I’m feeling would be good enough if only I would openly express it? What if the only problem with what I’m feeling is that I’m acting out without owning up to it? What if getting rid of all the “shoulds” about my feelings is all it takes to end the passive-aggressiveness I’ve struggled with for so long? What if I just said what I thought and felt and didn’t worry about how other people might react to it?
The reading of this quote gave me a glimpse of how freeing life might be if I could just openly be me with all that I am, all that I feel, all that I think. Just be me. Maybe—just maybe—if I could stop trying to hide those parts of me that are not good enough, then I would be good enough just as I am.
It sounds so easy, but I suspect that this may be the fundamental journey of a lifetime—for me and for all of us. What if the whole point for each of us is just to learn to openly be ourselves and realize that it’s good enough?
What one thing can I start being more open about who I am today? Will you join me? What one thing can you start with today?
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