“Just because others choose to make it complicated, stressful and painful doesn’t mean I need to buy into that reality. Other people’s judgements and opinions are often a reflection of what they feel about themselves and the state of their own lives. I’m loving my life even through the lessons and challenges. In gratitude for every breath my body takes!” ~Tevya Jones
I’ve spent most of my years finding life to be complicated, stressful, and painful. In fact, I often had the impression that the more important/real/valuable/lovable I was, the more life would be complicated, stressful, and painful. After all, don’t most of us make connections around complaining about how hard our lives are?
Co-workers establish a common bond around complaining about how things are in the office. Neighbors establish common bonds around complaining about the homeowner’s association, the street repair work, or the crazy neighbor that doesn’t keep up their lawn. Family members establish common bonds by complaining about absent family members. Even strangers bond by complaining about the weather, the price of gas, or traffic.
Entire relationships can be built around two people having similar wounds, stresses, and difficulties. But when was the last time you formed a relationship with someone based solely on the commonality of how wonderful both your lives are?
I’ve decided that I don’t want to play that game anymore. It doesn’t mean that I never complain. It means I’m actively trying to pay more attention to how much is right in my world and see the things that aren’t the way I want them to be as opportunities to apply some problem-solving skill. I’m not in denial about the challenges I face, but I’m putting more emphasis on being happy than I am on all the ways my life is less than perfect.
I found the following flowchart that makes life so much easier with this focus on happiness as the goal. It’s turning life into a grand experiment instead of a trial to be endured. It’s actually kind of fun! It makes life so much more enjoyable and so much simpler!
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a fragile and vulnerable place to be, so I am committed to keeping this a safe place for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight are not welcome here and will be deleted.