Like everyone, I have people and situations in my life that are not always the most supportive of the person I am becoming. I struggle to hold my ground in ways that honor the ways I am growing when I must deal with them.
Yet I hesitate to intentionally avoid (or at least reduce) interactions with them because it feels rude, and I hate hurting others in any way. (Yes, I do recognize my usual people-pleaser tactics going on in that, but I’m still working on that particular “growth area.”) There’s also a part of me that feels cowardly and weak in avoiding someone rather than being strong enough to withstand whatever they can dish out.
The reality is, though, that I’m the only person I can count on to protect me from those who would intentionally, unconsciously, or even unintentionally cause me harm. While I’d like to be strong enough to withstand any attack (intentional or not) without being shaken, the truth is that I am human, and my humanness deserves my compassion and respect.
So I found the following poem, which I seemed to encounter everywhere on Facebook today, to be particularly inspiring.
Run my dear
That may not strengthen
Your precious budding wings.
Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred, tender vision
Of your beautiful heart.
As a chrysalis-dweller who is in the process of forming budding wings as I create a new vision of what my life will be, this speaks profoundly to my current circumstance. To expect these budding wings and this evolving vision to be able to withstand the attacks of the outside world is not very realistic. My boundaries need to be part of the chrysalis that protects me during this time of transformation.
As such, those boundaries may sometimes mean that I need to run like hell from anyone and anything that is not safe. Running away in self-protection may be the best most loving thing I can do for myself sometimes. It may look cowardly, but that’s ok. I know it’s self-compassion in action for the tender space I’m in, and that’s all that matters.
Thank you, Hafiz. I’m putting on my running shoes.
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a fragile and vulnerable place to be, so I am committed to keeping this a safe place for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight are not welcome here and will be deleted.