An ending and a beginning

“Every end is a new beginning” ~anonymous (proverb)

I am amazed to consider that tonight is my last yoga teacher training class. This program, which seemed so long when it started five months ago, has flown by. This time next week (after our graduation ceremony), I will officially be a certified yoga teacher. Wow.

This program has changed me in many ways. I’ve learned so much about yoga and, perhaps even more significantly, have realized how very little I know. It’s been a lot of hard work. At times, it’s boosted my confidence that I have something to offer the world; at other times, it’s made me doubt that I can ever have anything worth giving. It’s challenged me, it’s made me question, it’s frustrated me, it’s brought me great delight.

I can’t wait to not have any more homework or assignments for a little while. (Yay! Time to catch up on all of the other things I haven’t been doing for months!) I am ready for a little downtime to let it all soak in.

On the other hand, I’ve spent so much time with this group of fellow students that it’s the closest I’ve come to feeling part of a community in the years that I’ve lived here. I’m going to really miss that even though we will (hopefully) keep in touch on Facebook.

Tonight is an ending, but it is also a beginning.

I am both looking forward to moving ahead and beginning to build a business as a (part-time) yoga teacher. I have found such joy in my yoga practice, and I can’t wait to have the opportunity to share it with others.

I am also terrified of having to go out there and sell myself to organizations and people to convince them to give my class a chance. I am afraid that no one will come. I am afraid that I won’t be a good teacher.

My feelings are obviously jumbled. There is good and hard in both the ending and the beginning of this night. Mostly though, I am grateful that I chose to follow this path. I wasn’t really sure I even wanted to teach when I started this, I just knew that this course tugged on me in a way that I could not explain or resist, so I followed the tug with no clear idea where it would lead. I followed with no attachment to an outcome because I had no set goal in sight.

I still don’t know where this will lead. I may never make a living (or even part of a living) as a yoga teacher, and that’s ok. I have grown enough personally in the process for it to have been worth the journey regardless of where it leads. I am grateful. And I am open to seeing what happens next. I’ve discovered that life truly is an adventure after all, and sometimes it’s more about the journey than the destination.

A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a fragile and vulnerable place to be, so I am committed to keeping this a safe place for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight are not welcome here and will be deleted.