As someone who is both introverted and rather shy, I’ve never found it terribly easy to make friends. But I do know that it is much harder to do so as an adult than it was as a child (or teenager) when we spent so much time with classmates with whom we had much in common (classes at least, if nothing more).
Moving, job changes, and life changes have only added to that challenge for me. Even the few friendships I have made in this town have suffered over time because of changes in my life that have reduced the amount I have in common with people I have been developing friendships with.
The biggest challenge I have found in forming true friendships, though, has come from the inner changes I have gone through in becoming who I really am. People who thought they knew me are finding that I am no longer the person they thought I was. My interests have changed so drastically in some cases that shared activities are no longer as easy to find.
I have gained so much from having so much time alone over the past few months. It has given me space to explore my inner world, to heal, to mend without undue outside influence. But I’m increasingly finding myself ready to get out and explore the outside world again. I notice myself wanting to go do things with other people more than I have for at least the last 15 years or so. The challenge is that I still have so few people to go and do things with.
“There can be tremendous loneliness in the crossover to a soul-centered life. Walking through uncharted territory often means walking alone. This is particularly true in the transition stages before we find our soulpod. Its like primary school all over again—who will be my first REAL friends? The key is patience. When the moment is right, they come. We call to them, they call to us, and our angels broker the deal.” ~Jeff Brown
I do believe that I will find that soulpod, though—those people whose interests parallel my own, who find joy in similar activities, whose company I look forward to enjoying. The challenge is in finding a balance between being patient enough for them to appear when the time is right and ensuring I get out there enough to make myself available to encounter them when they cross my path.
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a very fragile place, and it takes a good deal of vulnerability to share this personal journey of transformation so openly. Therefore, I need this to be a safe place for exploration and sharing for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight—or the expression of that experience or insight—are NOT welcome here and will be deleted.