The freedom of non-perfection

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself … and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.” ~ Antony Robbins

It was only a few months ago that my friends were getting bored (and a bit frustrated) with my constant whining and negativity. (To be clear, I don’t blame them at all!)

I’m afraid I’m soon going to start boring them with my constant joyfulness at how good life is. Today, like yesterday, was another day filled with wonderful things, and I am feeling remarkably blessed.

Some of the causes of this joyfulness are purely circumstantial—the fact that it is spring, changes like leaving my last job, the joy I am finding in yoga—but the vast majority of it is coming either directly or indirectly from shifts in my outlook on life. One of the biggest of those is encapsulated in the quote above.

I’ve spent so much of my life trying to be perfect in the hopes that this would one day make me good enough to be loved the way I wanted to be loved. Although I’ve always known that perfection is impossible, I somehow finally KNOW it—really know it in a way that has shifted everything.

Between that shift and the releasing of old co-dependent patterns, I am finding life to be a whole different ballpark. I have discovered an amazing freedom in letting go of the need to be perfect and the letting go of trying to earn the love of others. I am enough as I am (even if I’m the only one who thinks so), so there’s nothing left to prove.

The freedom is allowing me to truly live for what may be the first time. I find myself shrugging at my mistakes now instead of obsessing over them. I find myself trying new things that I never would have considered before (like kayaking by myself). I’m actually having fun and having fun just being me! No angst about what people think of me. No trying to impress anyone. No trying to be someone I’m not. It’s an amazing breath of fresh air!

I have no idea where this journey will lead me next, and I’m sure I will encounter more bumps along the way, but life truly does just keep getting better and better. In fact, it’s getting so good, it’s hard to sleep.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ~Dr. Seuss

The best part is that I’m in love with my life! And all signs indicate that there’s even better things to come. I am grateful, and I am blessed. This journey, as painful and challenging as it has been at times, is worth it all for moments like these.

A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a very fragile place, and it takes a good deal of vulnerability to share this personal journey of transformation so openly. Therefore, I need this to be a safe place for exploration and sharing for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight—or the expression of that experience or insight—are NOT welcome here and will be deleted.