I reflected yesterday on that fact that I have been inundated recently with messages about attachment and the fact that this brings suffering with it. In fact, I’ve gotten so many messages about the importance of detachment that it’s felt like a 2 x 4 upside the head as the universe tried to get my attention.
To honor this message, I spent the day today in solitude reflecting, pondering, writing, investigating my life to find places where I have become too attached. Through this process, I uncovered a deep level of attachment to one thing that clearly has become too strong.
That one thing is this very blog.
This was an entirely unexpected result for me because I see this blog as bringing so much good into my life. It’s been my primary therapy, my comfort, my pride and joy. It has reconnected me with writing and has helped me to find my voice. It has stretched me and forced me to a greater authenticity. It has taught me courage and given me strength. It has brought stability and structure to a time when all else seems to be falling away. It has been my saving grace in the storm.
It has become my greatest attachment. The depth of my grief at the thought of losing this outlet tells me this is so.
And yet, I am fully committed to learning to live with greater detachment. This means that I must pry my clinging heart and fingers off of this blog until I can return to it with detachment. I need to find a space where I can enjoy it without “needing” it.
Therefore, I will be taking a hiatus from my daily posting here until I can reach that space of detachment with this blog. I will continue to write, of course. It’s how I know who I am. But it won’t be here until I can do so from a healthier place. I have much grieving and letting go to do in the coming days.
I wish each and every one of you blessings on your journeys until I can return. I am filled with gratitude that you have accompanied me on my journey thus far, and I hope to return before too long to continue to share this journey with you.
A Note on Comments: A chrysalis is by nature a very fragile place, and it takes a good deal of vulnerability to share this personal journey of transformation so openly. Therefore, I need this to be a safe place for exploration and sharing for me and for my readers. Comments sharing your own journey, even if your experience is different from mine, are always welcome and encouraged. Expressions of support or encouragement are also welcome. Comments that criticize, disparage, correct, or in any way attempt to undermine the validity of another person’s experience or personal insight—or the expression of that experience or insight—are NOT welcome here and will be deleted.