The book I discussed in yesterday’s post is of especial interest to me right now because I have been spending the last few months working on trying to excavate my deepest intuitive sense from where I buried it in earlier years after finding that it was not always welcome. My empathic sense is so strong that I’ve never been able to suppress that—although that sense can shut down when I’m overwhelmed and unable to take anything more in. My intuition also never disappeared, but it did become quite faint as I learned to suppress and ignore the messages that I didn’t know what to do with. Over the last few years, I decided that this was one gift that I wanted to reconnect with, but I didn’t know how to excavate it from where it had become hidden away inside.
On the advice of a friend, I visited a shaman last winter to explore the possibility of a soul retrieval done. This shaman, who did not know me or any part of my personal history, quickly located a soul fragment of mine that had locked herself away in a cage for her own protection. This part of me was still about eight years old (a rather traumatic year in my life) and was hiding because she had felt rejected and misunderstood by those around her. This part of me turned out to be my intuitive self.
I have been working in the time since then to re-integrate this piece of me back into my life. One of the things the shaman suggested that I should do to help with this re-integration process was to be sure I listened to messages I received from my intuition and to act on them. The honoring of these messages by taking action was a way to show this part of myself that I trust her and value her input. In so doing, this will help this part of me to regain my voice so I will better able to consciously tap into these messages for guidance and decision-making.
One way that I have done this is by teaching myself to do intuitive readings with cards. I now have quite a few decks with a wide variety of themes. Only a couple of these are tarot decks, I generally have found greater luck with oracle decks of various kinds, so far. I mostly read for myself and for one friend whose enthusiasm for the guidance I have been able to provide through the card readings has been a huge validation in strengthening that particular “muscle.”
I’ve greatly enjoyed exploring the use of my intuition through this means, but the greater gift has been the boost that this practice has been to learning to recognize those inner intuitive messages when they arise in any situation. The messages are still much clearer to me when I’m using the cards; the confidence that has brought in my intuitive capacity, though, carries over into other areas of life as well where the messages are not always quite as clear. I’m learning to trust even the hazy impressions I get as something that I need to pay attention to and explore further rather than simply dismissing them or, even worse, not even noticing them. Many of the changes that have occurred in my life over the last few months, as challenging as they have been, are the result of listening to these inner nudges. I also have places where I ignored my inner guidance to do something that made more sense logically that have proven to be costly to me than I could have foreseen; listening to that intuitive message would have saved me considerably grief.
Over time, as I continue listening to—and acting on—this inner guidance, I look forward to an ongoing strengthening of that voice. And as I learn to trust the messages I get, I hope to find myself acting on them more often—even when they don’t appear to make much rational sense, even when doing so means great risk—for decisions made under the guidance of that part of my soul are always the best ones I make.